The Real House-students of Hogwarts Reunion Part 1

The camera pans on Hogwarts castle, lit up in the night. CUT TO: the portrait of Barnabas the Barmy in the 7th floor corridor. The camera pans around the empty corridor to the entrance to the Room of Requirement.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE (V.O.): Tonight, on Part 1 of the Real House-students of Hogwarts reunion…

DUMBLEDORE: Mr. Thomas, what did you think about Mr. Zabini passing the torch to you, so to speak?

DEAN: I mean some heads up would’ve been nice.

DESIREE: He shouldn’t have waited until the last minute to tell everyone.

DUMBLEDORE: What is the status of your relationship?

DESIREE: Me and Blaise?

DUMBLEDORE: Yes.

The camera cuts between Desiree, who looks stuck, and Blaise, who look uncomfortable. Desiree opens her mouth to answer, but the camera cuts short, turning to…

ALEX annoyed: You still don’t trust that I can make a good decision.

CUT TO LAVENDER: One of us was an absolute witch about the situation.

HERMIONE: I’m sorry was anyone even talking to you Lavender? 

LAVENDER: I’m sitting on this couch just like everyone else!

HERMIONE: NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR NONSENSE!

8 hours earlier…

The 7th floor is bustling with crew, hovering cameras, and boom mics. A table of food is being set up, two couches appear in the required positions. CUT TO: HERMIONE GRANGER in her dressing room. Her hairdresser is slicking back her hair with Sleakeazy’s.

HERMIONE: I just hope everyone is on their best behavior today. I’ve got enough on my plate without all of the foolishness.

CUT TO DUMBLEDORE, who knocks on DESIREE WARBECK’S dressing room door. Desiree is getting her makeup done, a large bonnet capped on her head.

DESIREE: Hi Professor!

DUMBLEDORE: Miss Warbeck, I hope you’re ready for tonight’s festivities?

DESIREE grins: Oh yes, I’m very excited.

CUT TO DEAN THOMAS, who is getting his hair lined up by magical clippers.

DEAN peering into his mirror: Gotta make sure I look right.

CUT TO the set. The Room of Requirement has changed to mimic the Astronomy Tower at midnight, but with more glam. Stars blink on the ceiling, glowing silver lanterns hang in strategic places. The couches are a pale purple embroidered with silver, midnight blue drapes hanging from the stone walls.

ALEX JOHNSON steps onto set, in sweeping robes of royal blue and bronze-colored glasses. He looks around at the set and smiles.

ALEX: Wow, this is great!

BLAISE ZABINI — in robes the color of onyx with gold trim and shining cufflinks — sits beside Desiree — who wears robes the color of marigold, her hair twisted into large bantu-knots, iridescent eyeshadow setting off her long lashes. Next to her is LAVENDER BROWN, who sweeps her almost floor-length honey-colored braids over one shoulder and adjusts her lavender-colored robes, a sour look on her face. On the other couch, in the hot seat directly beside Dumbledore, sits Hermione in a silver gown, her hair slicked back into a low puff. She looks down at her silver nails, pretending not to see Lavender, the lighting reflecting off of the glitter on her eyelids. Next to her, Dean shifts in his seat, in a burgundy velvet suit and cape.

DESIREE to Blaise: You ready?

BLAISE: I suppose.

PRODUCER (V.O.): Starting in 5…4…3…2…1

The camera cuts to Dumbledore, who sits in the center in iridescent sky blue robes and a matching hat. He clutches a stack of cards, one hand covered in a silver glove while the uncovered hand shines with silver nail polish.

DUMBLEDORE: Welcome everyone, I am here with the illuminating and ferocious House-students of Hogwarts, here to discuss all of the happenings from this first season. The Room of Requirement has been transformed into the Astronomy Tower, where the students usually meet for their Hogwarts BSU meetings.

ALEX: It looks way more glamorous than the Astronomy Tower, Professor.

DUMBLEDORE: I must confess that I, admittedly, haven’t been up there very recently.

Everyone chuckles.

DUMBLEDORE: Hello, Mr. Zabini.

BLAISE nods: Professor.

DUMBLEDORE: You’ve had a difficult start to your term. Are you ready to rehash everything?

BLAISE shrugs: Why not?

There is a pause, but Blaise doesn’t look inclined to say anything more. Dumbledore raises an eyebrow and then turns to Desiree.

DUMBLEDORE: Well, Miss Warbeck, I must say you look positively dazzling.

DESIREE blushes: Please, Professor, you’re clearly outshining us all.

A few of the others mutter in agreeance. Blaise checks his cufflinks disinterestedly.

DUMBLEDORE with a humble smile: I’m merely trying to step up to the task at hand. He turns to Lavender. Miss Brown, I presume you’ve looked at the cards before our meeting today?

LAVENDER with a strained smile: Of course.

DUMBLEDORE: And what do they say about how today will go?

LAVENDER coyly running her hand through her braids: There may be some ups and downs, but I think it’ll generally go well.

DUMBLEDORE: I sure hope so. Miss Granger, how are your efforts with the Society for the Promotion of Elfish Welfare going?

HERMIONE: Quite well, Professor.

DUMBLEDORE: And what sorts of changes do you envision the house-elves will be getting?

HERMIONE looking caught: Er, joggers.

Cut to Lavender, who rolls her eyes. Blaise looks befuddled.

DUMBLEDORE: I’m sorry?

DEAN whispering: He’s asking about your timeline for freeing the elves.

HERMIONE: I know what he’s asking. I just answered it.

DEAN side-eyeing her: Well, it wasn’t clear.

HERMIONE: You weren’t being clear.

DEAN turns to Alex: Why is she getting mad at me?

ALEX: No idea, mate.

DUMBLEDORE: So you’re saying they’ll be receiving joggers…?

HERMIONE nods: It’s more lifestyle. I want them to be able to receive things they can wear once they’re freed.

There’s a long silence. The camera cuts to Dean, who is trying hard to keep a straight face. Lavender inspects her nails. Blaise and Desiree exchange a look.

DUMBLEDORE: When?

HERMIONE: June! That is…er…Winter/Fall. 

DUMBLEDORE: Well I’m sure we all look forward to seeing what comes next. Now, Mr. Thomas, you’ve been quite busy both on and off-screen. How are you managing your time now that you’ve been added as Chaser to the Gryffindor Quidditch team?

DEAN: It’s been alright. Definitely was a learning curve in the beginning, but now it’s like riding a bike—or, broomstick, I guess.

DUMBLEDORE: Wonderful. Mr. Johnson, I take it you’ve brought your note taking tools with you? 

Alex smiles as a spare bit of parchment and quill floats out of his pockets.

ALEX: But of course, Professor. I’m always ready.

DUMBLEDORE: Very good. I shall be relying on you to keep us all honest. 

The camera cuts to Blaise, who doesn’t even pretend to smile.

DUMBLEDORE (V.O.): Now Mr. Zabini, this term started off with quite the shock when you announced to the group that you would be stepping down as President of the Hogwarts Black Student Union. Tempers flared, but was the group able to keep cool? Watch this.

Flashback to scenes from this season:

BLAISE: I want to step down as BSU President.

The camera pans around the classroom. Dean frowns at Blaise, Desiree looks shocked and upset, Alex is still scribbling furiously on his parchment.

BLAISE CONFESSIONAL: I started the BSU with Dean third year because I wanted to make space for other Black students at Hogwarts, and I don’t regret doing that but…but with the Dark Lord out in the open, I just feel like it would be more prudent for me to take a back seat. 

DEAN CONFESSIONAL: What in Merlin’s scratchy five o’clock shadow?

CUT TO DESIREE in the Hogwarts corridor, rolling her eyes: Look, I get it. I don’t like it, but whatever. You’ve always been like this.

BLAISE eyes flashing: What’s that supposed to mean?

DESIREE laughs: Oh come on. You’ve always had that self-preservation streak going for you.

BLAISE CONFESSIONAL: Sorry I don’t just barrell head-on into every situation wand out.

DESIREE CONFESSIONAL: I’ll say this about my relationship with Blaise: we’re just friends for a reason. 

KEEGAN THOMPSON (BSU Member) at the BSU gala: You sure you’re okay being seen at something like this, Zabini? Don’t want you to take too big a risk.

CUT TO HARRY POTTER (Friend of Hermione): You all did a great job with this.

DEAN: Thanks mate. Side eyeing Blaise — Alex and I worked really hard.

DEAN CONFESSIONAL: Just don’t want anyone to get confused.

BLAISE CONFESSIONAL: Sure, I feel a little left out.

DESIREE CONFESSIONAL: She shrugs. I mean…that’s what happens.

CUT back to the present. Blaise scowls next to a serene Dumbledore.

DUMBLEDORE: Now Mr. Thomas, I want to go to you first. What did you think about Mr. Zabini passing the torch to you, so to speak?

DEAN: I mean some heads up would’ve been nice. The two of us have worked together on this for almost three years, and it felt like I was being hung out to dry just because I wasn’t one of his Slytherin mates.

BLAISE rolls his eyes: So dramatic.

DEAN raising an eyebrow: Did you or did you not tell me you weren’t going to be President ten minutes before the first meeting?

BLAISE scowls but doesn’t answer.

DEAN: Exactly. We had that all that prep time for the show, pushed back the club’s timeline for filming, and in none of that time did he say “Maybe I don’t want to do this.”

HERMIONE: What I don’t understand is why step down if you’re going to be on the show?

Desiree is nodding in agreement.

BLAISE: It’s not like You-Know-Who watches the show.

DUMBLEDORE chuckles: I sure hope not.

HERMIONE: But that’s not the point is it? If you don’t want to be seen leading the group, why continue to associate yourself publicly with the group?

BLAISE: I’m sure you wouldn’t understand, never having founded a successful organization before.

HERMIONE getting angry: Excuse me?

DUMBLEDORE: Alright, alright, let’s settle down. He consults the cards in his hands. Miss Warbeck, Ethel Hindtree from Mould-on-the-Wold says “Desiree, you’re the closest of the group to Blaise, yet you seem to have little sympathy for his situation. Why is that, and have your feelings changed with a little distance?”

DESIREE takes a breath: Yes and no. Like Ethel said, Blaise and I are closer, so I’m privy to the other things that have been going on. It’s definitely given me some perspective that some of the others don’t have, but at the same time I do agree with Dean.

DUMBLEDORE: About what, exactly?

DESIREE: He shouldn’t have waited until the last minute to tell everyone. It put us all in really awkward positions, and left us scrambling when we didn’t have to. I’m sure Dean would’ve been fine with some heads up.

BLAISE mutters: You give him too much credit.

DEAN leaning back and crossing his arms: I’d still think it was a bunch of bull, but I’d probably be less resentful, yeah. 

DUMBLEDORE before Blaise can retort: Well, let’s get into that. Mr. Thomas, when you started this year, you had two plans: join the Gryffindor Quidditch team and continue on in your role as Vice President of the Hogwarts BSU. But more got added to your plate as roles and responsibilities shifted. Let’s take a look.

Flashback to scenes from this season:

Dean walks with SEAMUS FINNIGAN (Friend of Dean) down a crowded Hogwarts corridor.

DEAN: You know how I told you Blaise quit BSU leadership? It’s all fallen on me to figure out what we’re doing this year.

DEAN CONFESSIONAL: He could’ve owled over the summer. He could’ve found me on the platform. ‘Hey Dean, just so you know, I’m quitting BSU and sticking you with all of the work.’ But no. He waited til ten minutes before the bloody meeting.

CUT TO ALEX in the Astronomy classroom: I have loads of ideas for where we could take the BSU this year. We could have campaign focusing on getting Black students more support from the school, or run a drive to help younger Black wizards prepare for entering Hogwarts, or a dance where we can raise—

DEAN CONFESSIONAL: Alex means well, just…I need him to tone down the Granger energy.

CUT BACK TO ALEX: What about a gala?

DEAN: Wait…that could work.

DEAN CONFESSIONAL: It’s the perfect way to celebrate ourselves out loud. Some folks could benefit from that. 

CUT TO the Great Hall, which is bustling as members of the Hogwarts BSU put final touches on their set up. By the doors of the Great Hall, DEAN THOMAS and ALEX JOHNSON are checking items off of their list. 

ALEX CONFESSIONAL: The gala is open to all students of Hogwarts, but the proceeds are going to a fund to support the Black students.

DEAN CONFESSIONAL: I’m just relieved we were able to pull this all together.

CUT back to the present. Dean grins.

DUMBLEDORE: So you clearly had quite a lot on your plate this term, Mr. Thomas.

DEAN: I did.

DUMBLEDORE: And yet, you also volunteered to do even more, helping out with Miss Granger’s S.P.E.W. event. Why add even more?

BLAISE under his breath: Thank you.

DEAN loudly: Can I answer the question?

BLAISE: Go ahead. 

DEAN: Professor, I just wanted to help where I could. Hermione only needed assistance on the day of, and so I figured I could lend her a hand.

HERMIONE: I really appreciated it. I know a lot about taking on too much, so it felt nice to have one of my friends actually support me even with everything else they had going on.

DUMBLEDORE: Ira Abbott of Godric’s Hollow asks if Blaise has attended any leadership meetings other than the ones we saw on screen.

BLAISE: Occasionally.

DEAN: No, you don’t.

ALEX: Why lie?

BLAISE: Well I mean to say, I would, if you invited me.

DEAN: But we haven’t.

BLAISE: Exactly.

DUMBLEDORE: Mr. Thomas, you and Mr. Johnson seem to be getting along much better than in the beginning. Mrs. Weasley from Ottery St. Catchpole would like to know if you are still limiting his input?

DEAN crosses his arms: What you have to understand is that Alex has a LOT of ideas—

ALEX: Just say yes, Dean. You still don’t trust that I can make a good decision.

DEAN: That’s not the case. It’s just a lot to sift through!

DUMBLEDORE: Okay, well let’s actually pause on that and come back to it later. 

The camera pans to Dean, who is now scowling. Alex adjusts his glasses. Lavender sighs loudly.

DUMBLEDORE: Miss Warbeck, as resident baker of the BSU, you were the sweet center of the sometimes tough dough of this group. From your relationship with Mr. Zabini to your playing the peacekeeper between some of the feuding members of the BSU, you always seem to handle everything with the patience it takes to prove bread. Let’s watch.

Flashback to scenes from this season:

DESIREE CONFESSIONAL: I’m Desiree Warbeck, sixth year Hufflepuff and Treasurer and Resident Baker of the Hogwarts BSU. I suppose the latter isn’t really an official title but I can’t eat all those biscuits and sponges on my own can I?

BLAISE CONFESSIONAL: Me and Des are…complicated.

DESIREE CONFESSIONAL: We’re friends. Just friends. She doesn’t look happy about it, but doesn’t say any more.

CUT TO BLAISE hurrying after Desiree down a Hogwarts corridor: Come on, Des, just talk to me.

DESIREE: I’m not not talking to you.

BLAISE CONFESSIONAL: He’s pouting. I can tell when something is up with Desiree.

DESIREE CONFESSIONAL: I don’t have a problem. Maybe he’s the one with the problem.

CUT BACK TO BLAISE: I know you’re mad at me about BSU.

DESIREE sighs: It’s fine.

BLAISE: You don’t look fine.

DESIREE CONFESSIONAL: I’ll say this about my relationship with Blaise: we’re just friends for a reason.

CUT TO the Great Hall, where Hermione and Lavender are facing off.

HERMIONE: You’re disrupting my event and I’d like for you to leave.

DESIREE to Blaise: I’m going to try to calm them down.

CUT TO the entrance hall, where Desiree and PARVATI PATIL (Friend of Lavender) were trying to calm Lavender until Hermione joined them.

LAVENDER to Hermione: Why couldn’t you just tell me you didn’t want me to do the event?

HERMIONE: I already told you, there were a lot of moving pieces and I dropped the ball.

Cameras cut to Desiree, who pauses, looking at Hermione with a frown.

DESIREE CONFESSIONAL: Oh, so we’re just lying now?

BACK TO DESIREE: Didn’t you tell me there was no way you were letting her “fake Divination” into your event?

LAVENDER turns back to Hermione, eyes wide: You said that??

HERMIONE CONFESSIONAL: Her arms are crossed. Desiree should mind her pies and stay out of it.

CUT TO Astronomy classroom, where Blaise joins Dean and Alex.

DEAN: Where’s Des?

BLAISE: Oh, er, she said she was going to try to talk to Hermione and Lavender. I guess she wants to bring them together after the Knit-In.

DESIREE CONFESSIONAL: Lavender and Hermione aren’t just active members of the BSU, they’re roommates. I’m in Hufflepuff, so I don’t have to deal with what I’m sure is an awfully tense dormitory, but that’s also why I’m taking it upon myself to see if there’s some way for them to come together, take accountability, and move on.

CUT TO Desiree, Hermione, and Lavender in a Hogwarts courtyard.

LAVENDER standing: You’re full of dragon dung, Granger.

DESIREE stands, holding her hands up: Whoa, ladies calm down.

HERMIONE: You’re the one who’s full of it, Brown. She throws up her hands. I can’t do this.

Lavender looks furious, but before she can say anything else, Hermione turns and storms off, leaving the courtyard. Desiree looks stunned.

DESIREE CONFESSIONAL: Well that was…a disaster.

Back to present. Hermione and Lavender are both scowling in opposite directions. Desiree’s smile falls into a grimace.

DUMBLEDORE: Well Miss Warbeck, you were certainly in the middle of a lot of the drama that plagued the group this term.

DESIREE: I wouldn’t say I was ‘in the middle’ of it.

DUMBLEDORE: Miss Granger? What do you think? You in particular seemed to feel strongly about Miss Warbeck needing to ‘mind her pies’ rather than your business with Lavender.

HERMIONE flounders a bit: Well, er, I guess I do appreciate Des for being so…concerned about the wellbeing of her friends, you know? 

DUMBLEDORE raising his eyebrows: So you don’t think Miss Warbeck needs to mind her business?

DEAN coming to Hermione’s rescue: I guess what it is is that Desiree is friends with all of us, you know? And things like conflict bothers her. Her trying to fix it is just who she is.

BLAISE: And she’s great at it. Dean and I have actually been cool since filming stopped, and a large part of that is because of Des.

DUMBLEDORE: But you and Mr. Thomas have been at odds this whole time. 

ALEX chuckles: Right?

DEAN: That’s not fair. We’re having to relive drama from months ago. Blaise and I have already hashed all of this out off camera, it’s the nature of the reunion to bring it back up.

BLAISE: I think all of us appreciate how hard Desiree works to keep us all honest and accountable.

DUMBLEDORE: Very well. Mr. Jordan of London wants to know the status of your relationship.

DESIREE: Who? Me and Blaise?

DUMBLEDORE: Yes.

BLAISE: We’re friends.

DUMBLEDORE: Is Mr. Zabini’s defection from the BSU the reason why things haven’t progressed further?

BLAISE: I didn’t defect!

Desiree puts her hand on Blaise’s arm and he stops, though he is still clearly fuming.

DESIREE: Yes and no, I suppose.

DUMBLEDORE: Would you be so kind as to elaborate?

DESIREE exhales: Well, like I said I have a bit more insight into the other reasons Blaise stepped down, so it’s not like I can judge him the same way. But even with that, I still think there are some things he needs to do before our relationship can go any further. 

DUMBLEDORE: What do the rest of you think?

LAVENDER: I don’t know, I feel like Des is being a little hard on him. Anyone can see how much he adores her.

DEAN: I guess, but I also get wanting to be sure about who you’re with before you jump into it.

Hermione doesn’t speak, but laughs quietly under her breath at the light shade as she adjusts her gown.

DUMBLEDORE: Miss Warbeck, you tried to bring Miss Granger and Miss Brown together towards the end of this season. What do you think about the drama that came up this term?

DESIREE: Honestly, I think they were both in the wrong.

LAVENDER under her breath: One of us was an absolute witch about the situation.

HERMIONE: I’m sorry was anyone even talking to you Lavender? 

LAVENDER: Does it matter? I’m sitting on this couch just like everyone else!

HERMIONE talking over Lavender: Just stop talking. Stay quiet like you’ve been doing. 

DUMBLEDORE: Wait a minute, ladies—

LAVENDER: No I don’t have to be quiet, just because you say it. In fact, I’M GOING TO KEEP TALKING—

HERMIONE: NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR NONSENSE LAVENDER!

Lavender begins to shift in her seat, as if to get up, but Desiree grabs her hand, and begins to whisper urgently to her. Dean looks at Alex with a smirk. Blaise rolls his eyes.

DESIREE: Lavender, calm down—

HERMIONE: JUST BE QUIET LAVENDER.

LAVENDER: NO YOU’RE NOT GOING TO TELL ME TO BE QUIET.

…

DUMBLEDORE (V.O.): Next time, on the stirring conclusion of the Real House-students of Hogwarts reunion…

Desiree sits on Lavender’s lap to keep her from standing up. Hermione crosses her arms, fuming.

HERMIONE: OH MERLIN I’M SORRY. Is that what you want? Fine. Have it. I was wrong. I’m sorry. My goodness.

ALEX: I think I’m doing a pretty good job. I’ve got some ideas for next term that’ll be cool to implement.

DUMBLEDORE: How does everyone else think Alex is doing?

The camera cuts to Dean, who scratches his nose, then to Blaise, whose arms are crossed and jaw is clenched, then to Lavender, who tugs at her hair and looks off camera.

CUT TO BLAISE: I thought the Knit-In was ridiculous.

HERMIONE: Well I’m sorry I actually stand for something!  

LAVENDER: Girl, are you done?

HERMIONE: No, I’m not!

LAVENDER: Please, we are bored.

DUMBLEDORE (V.O.): For more information on the Real House-students, go to hogwartstv.com.